Written by Lance Falk, from a concept by Christian & Yvon Tremblay
Transcript by Craig Rohloff
Guest Cast (in order of appearance):
Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):
Mutilor: So much water… it’s perfect. (laughs)
Chance: Jake, you’ve been tinkering with these thrusters for days now. Are we ever going to get the new Turbokat in the air?
Jake: Hey, buddy, the Speed of Heat turbine enhancement isn’t just your everyday tune-up.
Chance: So what’s it do?
Jake: If you thought the Turbokat was fast before, wait’ll this baby is operational.
Chance: I can hardly wait to test it!
Jake: Hold your horses, Chance. This baby won’t be ready for two weeks, at least.
Chance: (embarassed) Oops.
Jake: Aw! Now I’ve gotta buff out another ding!
Female Beach Kat: (serving ball) Uh!
Male Beach Kat: I got it! (Distracted by something overhead, he gets hit in head by volleyball.) Oh!
All: (gasp) What’s that? What is it?
Lifeguard: (falls from chair) Augh!
Little Boy: (pointing upward) Look!
Surfer: Whoa! (wipes out)
Mutilor (laughs maniacally)
Surfer: (points to jets approaching from Megakat City) All right, dude! Enforcers!
Cmdr. Feral: This is Commander Feral. Cease your operation immediately.
Felina: You don’t really think that thing’s going to turn tail and slink away, do you, Uncle?
Cmdr. Feral: Just giving them fair warning, Felina. Squadron, move in!
Traag: My Lord Mutilor, their squadron leader is attempting contact. He calls himself a “Feral.”
Mutilor: Well, Traag, let us greet them in the tradition of brotherhood and galactic peace.
Felina: Incoming fighters! I count at least twenty.
Cmdr. Feral: Squadron, engage!
Felina: One down, nineteen to go…
Cmdr. Feral: (voice over) Don’t get cocky, Lieutenant. Watch your tail!
Felina: Thanks, Uncle.
Cmdr. Feral: Don’t thank me yet; we’re still outnumbered. What?!
Felina: This is Lieutenant Feral. I’m—(control panel short circuits) Oh, crud! Radio’s out.
Cmdr. Feral: There’s too many of them. This is Feral. Return to base!
Felina: (removes helmet) Augh! (punches shorted-out controls) Guess I’m on my own.
Mutilor: Look, Traag, the cowards are retreating. Now we can resume draining this moirture-rich world.
Traag: The desert planet Saharbi will pay handsomely for the water we steal this day. Heh, heh.
Mutilor: Ha, ha! And if this world perishes in the process, it’s just business. (laughs)
Chance: The Enforcers have taken their best shot, buddy.
Jake: Yeah, looks like it’s up to us.
Chance: But we don’t have our jet.
Felina: I may be down, but I’m not out. Eat bazooka, you space scum! Aaah! (gasps) The SWAT Kats!
T-Bone: Here they come, Razor, ready to rock and roll.
Razor: Thunder Truck locked and loaded.
T-Bone: Hang on!
Razor: What was that?
T-Bone: Don’t look now, but that big mothership wants to play ‘Dodge the Laser.’
Mutilor: Heh, heh. Is this the greatest challenge this puny planet can offer me? Time to fry these insects!
Mutilor: An interesting diversion, Traag. Now, back to business.
T-Bone: Scratch one Thunder Truck.
Razor: Yeah. Now we’re really going to need the Turbokat to handle those water pirates.
T-Bone: If we get it airborne in time.
Razor: If we don’t, Megakat City’s gonna be bone dry.
Traag: This world didn’t offer much resistance, Lord Mutilor.
Mutilor: Heh! No. And we owe its destruction to these peace-loving Aquians.
Grimalkin: Return my ship at once, Mutilor!
Mutilor: This vessel serves me now, Grimalkin.
Grimalkin: Only because you stole it from me and my crew, you pirate!
Traag: Watch your tongue, insolent one!
Mutilor: He’s right, Traag, we are pirates. (laughs) And with this ship, I’m going to drain every drop of water from this world before its sun sets!
Felina: Freeze! You have the right to remain… (notices pilot is slumped unconcsious over controls) …silent?
Razor: We coulda used another week to get these systems operational.
T-Bone: We’ll be lucky if we have another hour!
Manx: What’re we goin’ ta do, Callie? The city’s water supply is gone. Where are the SWAT Kats? (blubbers)
Callie: I don’t know, Mayor Manx, but I’m sure they have a plan. Excuse me. Razor, T-Bone, where are you?
T-Bone: It’s Callie.
Razor: Can’t stop now; we’re almost there.
Enforcer Sergeant: I’m sorry, Sir. Lieutenant Feral’s craft was completely destroyed. They only found a bazooka.
Cmdr. Feral: Felina… Rrrrr! Let’s kick those aliens out of our atmosphere!
Traag: It won’t be long now, Lord Mutilor. This world is nearly drained.
Mutilor: Excellent, Traag. Now, let’s contact the Saharbis to arrange—(alarm interrupts him) What?!
Traag: Incoming attack craft!
Mutilor: Put it on the screen.
Traag: I thought we destroyed those two!
Mutilor: Well, well. Looks like someone on this pathetic planet has claws after all. But they will be clipped. Deploy Marauders!
T-Bone: She’s handling better than ever, buddy. Let’s just hope that you can handle them.
Razor: I’m ready for ‘em.
Razor: Activating smoke screen… now!
T-Bone: Yes! Three down, seven to go. [There are actually nine Marauders left at this point.]
Razor: I can improve those odds. Drop Tops… deploy! Crud! Looks like we got our first ding. Oh, that makes me mad! Matchhead Missiles… deploy!
Traag: That’s our entire squadron! Sensors detect more fighters approaching.
Viewer shows thirteen Enforcer jets joining Turbokat.
Mutilor: Pull this ship to a higher altitude. We can finish operations beyond the range of these… pests.
Razor: T-Bone, they’re getting away. Step on it!
T-Bone: She’s maxed out, buddy.
Razor: Unless you try the Speed of Heat.
T-Bone: I thought it needed more fine-tuning.
Razor: There’s only one way to find out.
T-Bone: Alright. Hang on!
Enforcer Pilot: Commander, they’re moving out of range. There’s no way we can follow to that altitude!
Cmdr. Feral: But somehow, the SWAT Kats are. (to self) Guess it’s up to them now…
Traag: They’re giving up. Excellent move, Lord Mutilor. We’re receiving a transmission… must be the Saharbi.
Saharbi: Congratulations, Mutilor. I hear you have water for us.
Mutilor: Yes, if the price is right.
T-Bone: I hope we don’t come apart before we get there.
Razor: Just worry about your landing. I don’t want to have to rebuild this jet again! Don’t cough up a hairball, Razor. See, what’d I tell you? We made it without a scratch.
Razor: Oh, I wish you hadn’t said that…
T-Bone: Let’s take ‘em, Razor!
Razor: Activate shields. Catch!
Alien Guard: (catching smoke grenade) Uh?!
T-Bone: Come on! We’ve gotta find the control room on this ship and get our water back.
Alien Guard: (coughs twice) Those Kat pilots are here. (coughs once) They just took out my best unit!
Mutilor: Traag! (picks Traag up) How did those intruders get aboard?
Traag: I… I don’t know, your maj–
Mutilor: Just find them… and destroy them!
Traag: I-it shall be done, Lord Mutilor! (Mutilor drops Traag) Oof.
Mutilor: Those two will be sorry they ever set their tails on my ship.
Razor: Looks like the coast is clear. Oops.
T-Bone: Deploy mini-Tarpedoes!
T-Bone: Now, tell us how to get to the control room.
Aliens: (muffled by tar) Mmm… mmph!
Grimalkin: (voice over) Maybe I can help you.
Razor: Who are you?
Grimalkin: Captain Grimalkin. This ship really belongs to me and my crew, but Mutilor and his space pirates stole it and imprisoned us.
T-Bone: Sounds like we could help each other. Stand back. We’re gettin’ you outa there!
Razor: Amazing! I can’t believe all of our water can fit in this ship.
Grimalkin: Yes, our advanced technology enables us to condense your planet’s water for intra-galactic transport. Come, the bridge is this way. From there you can reverse the process… if you’re not too late. We would help, but combat is not our way, warrior.
T-Bone: Hey, I can respect that, but we’ve got to get your ship out of Mutilor’s hands. He’s destroying our world!
Grimalkin: Perhaps you’re right, but we will not help you fight.
Razor: Suit yourselves. Just point the way to this Mutilor; we SWAT Kats will deal with him.
Mutilor: (voice over) You’re welcome to try, SWAT Kats! (laughs) So much for your brave Aquian allies! My guards will round them up presently. You two are a different matter. I’m almost sorry you won’t live to see me drain your planet dry as a bone.
Mutilor: So much for those feline pests. Traag! Prepare course for Zarhabi. We have a rich cargo to sell.
Traag: With pleasure, Lord Mutilor. Mmm, ha, ha!
Manx: (voice over) Callie, there’s nothing left.
Callie: (voice over) I know, Mayor.
The chopper flies over a few beached cargo ships & tankers.
Callie: (voice over) Without water, our planet is doomed.
Traag: Course set, Lord Mutilor.
Mutilor: Begin liftoff.
T-Bone: (voice over) Not so fast, gruesome!
Mutilor: What?! How can this be?
Razor: Haven’t you heard of oxygen masks?
Mutilor: Finish them! Attack! All of you!
SWAT Kats: Oof.
Mutilor: Heh, hmm, hmm… It was so refreshing to clash with true warriors. It’s a shame I must destroy you. I will make your demise painful, but quick.
SWAT Kats: Ugh! Augh!
A Marauder suddenly crashes through the wall into the deck.
Razor: (incredulously) What the…?
T-Bone: Lieutenant Feral!
Felina: Sorry I took so long; I’m not used to flying a saucer. Did I miss the party?
T-Bone: (standing up) Nope! It’s just getting warmed up.
Razor: Where’s Mutilor?
Mutilor: You fools have cost me a fortune! I will knock you from the sky and destroy all of you!
Razor: What’s he got up his sleeves?
Grimalkin: He’s going to destroy the ship’s anti-gravity drives. We’ll drop like a huge asteroid.
Razor: The biggest one ever. Our whole planet will probably bust up!
T-Bone: Come on! Looks like Felina and the Aquians can handle things here.
T-Bone: Where’s that four-armed creep?
Razor: If I were Mutilor, I’d strike from as far away as possible, ‘cause when this mothership hits, our atmosphere is gonna go ka-blooey!
T-Bone: I hear ya. Switching to sub-orbital mode, now!
Mutilor: What?! How many lives do these Kats have?
T-Bone: Razor! You’ve gotta put that mega-beam laser out of commission, before he takes us apart.
Razor: I’m workin’ on it.
T-Bone: You’re gonna have to do better than that, buddy…
Razor: Move in closer.
T-Bone: You’ve got it!
Mutilor: Nice try, SWAT Kats, but you missed.
Razor: That’s what he thinks…
Mutilor: Now, you can watch as I destroy the ship, and your world. (laughs)
T-Bone: Great shot, buddy!
Razor: Lousy shot… I’ll be buffing out the dings for weeks!
Grimalkin: (voice over) Your planet’s water will soon be fully restored.
T-Bone: Thanks, Grimalkin.
Grimalkin: No, it is we Aquians who should thank you, for giving us back our ship. But perhaps we can repay part of our debt. Come.
Felina & the SWAT Kats: Wow!
Grimalkin: Just a little high-speed space technology.
T-Bone: So, Lieutenant, want a ride in our new jet?
Felina: Love to.
Razor: (voice over) C’mon, T-Bone, watch it, will ya? The paint’s still wet.
T-Bone: (voice over) Relax, buddy. Just giving it a little space-age car wash!